oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
