she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
