I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
