Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
