Small penises have feelings too.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
