so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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