If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
