I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
