I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
