I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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