bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
