I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
