You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
