i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
