I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
