you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
