just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
