We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
