it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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