They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
