i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
