I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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