You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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