hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
