Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
