Too much gin, very little bucket
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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