I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I love you.
Bad choice
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
