He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
