well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
