chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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