my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
