HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
