thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
