20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
