I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Michael Bay diarrhea
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
