yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
