Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
