i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm always down for nudity.
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