i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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