he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
