omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
