you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
