I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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