YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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