Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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