Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
