Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
