can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
