How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
