Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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