My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
