you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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