i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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