So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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