If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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